Jurassic Jungle Boat Ride - Pigeon Forge, TN

My youngest son wanted to go to this attraction when it first opened up. I must say that I was intrigued as it seemed like it might be interesting considering the sheer size of the building. With some hope in my heart and a five year old birthday boy in tow, I paid the Jurassic Jungle Boat Ride a visit.

When we got there, the line was short and it didn't take us long to get to the ticket booth. I was not all that impressed with the price but I had an overly eager son itching to climb into that boat. While paying for the ticket, I remember asking if the ride was going to be okay for him. The young attendant who seemed to somewhat acknowledge my presence replied that he would really like it. She then turned back to her conversation with her friend in the booth.

As it turns out, we got our own boat to which we both sat up in the front seat. While waiting for it to start, we watched various menacing dinosaurs interact above us. Oddly enough, these animatronic creatures would arguably be the most realistic of the entire ride. I should have paid more attention that the focus of these creatures seemed to be to unnerve you.

The ride started and we quickly entered a very noisy and dark tunnel with various red eyes and skittering objects. My son at this point clung to me and would continue to do so for the rest of the ride. I will be more than blunt at this point - this ride is not okay for any child under the age of say like 10. It was built to instill fear and dole out cheap shock tactics in order to justify charging for the ride. Everything jumps out at you, makes a very loud noise (albeit annoying) and seems to be gifted with red glowing eyes.

Many part of the ride make no sense whatsoever. For instance, what is the spider to dinosaur ratio in say the Jurassic period? According to this attraction, particularly HUGE spiders were the overwhelming majority. I am no expert on dinosaur eras but I am pretty sure spiders never were a significant threat back then.

I would also like to point out one part of the ride that is downright offensive. About halfway through the ride you get treated to the wonderful sight of seeing a small child carried off to its seeming death by a flying dinosaur via talons on its backpack. Bravo, Jurassic Jungle Ride, you managed to set a new low in the tourism industry. Let me let you in on a little secret, smoke, noise, spiders and using the image of children being hurt do not a scary nor enjoyable ride make.

My advice? Steer clear of this one. If not on moral grounds then on the fact that it truly has no return value. It literally was designed to take the one time visitor's money and never look back. Look for this ride to be closed down in the coming year or two.

Should you wish to waste your money - I will be obliging and offer you their address.
2806 Parkway – Pigeon Forge, TN 37863

If you doubt my review, look around at the other reviews of the attraction that can be found on the web.